Autumn Thought 101

It started with eerie cracks and breaks in branches, followed by murmurs of unknown creatures in the distance. The moonlight mocked my pounding heart with glimmers of light. I was trapped playing flashlight tag with the shadows.  As I moved forward, my imagination started to get the best of me. Under my feet, the branch crackled and crunched,  adding to the tension in my mind.  Anxiety streamed down my face in beads of sweat. I lost focus while swimming through my thoughts. A cold wet drop shocked me to consciousness... 'What was that? ... just the wind' I tell myself to calm my nerves. The deeper I tracked the further in my soul my stomach went. Now quivering in the bone-chilling winter... ...To be continued

The weary scolded me as I fought in darkness. The broken watched and laughed as I shifted the fog. The lost watched from behind their mask to see if my endurance would last. All the same they chased me. Wanting another member for the tribe misery. With each stride and swing I gained back my power. Refusing to allow the past to shower me with rage and guilt. Out from the fog, released from darkness. Here I stand kissed by the sun's glow. A victory for growth. Once more I look back and wave to the weary, broken, and lost. I keep hope alive for those I left behind me. In the sun's warmth I finally see. Ah, this is Woman. Yes, this is Me. 

If love does exist, I saw it in you. The embers of love began to ignite my weakened heart. A fire started… Its warmth I yearned. Love was intriguing, something I had not yet learned. Heart awakened by his gentle manner. Calmness overtook the feelings of emptiness. With the shackles of emptiness finally gone. The fire grew and burned the ropes of fear. Finally standing in the warmth again I saw you. Anchored to hope and love I survive the storm. One more I allow my hearts fire to show. Walking the bridge of eternity, I feel warmth kiss my face. It's embers familiar, I feel you must be close. I call across to my gentle love. I hear a faint response. Here I'll wait in love's glow. Soon my love we will walk together.  Wait for me I will find you soon.

Log 101  1/1/424 x.c. 10 am - message "Captain… Captain Soli..." …Anyone? …Music to past the time that's a good idea. "half way there… take my hand we'll make it I swear" …Hmm 'Living on a prayer'  …Haha ain't that the truth. Interesting artist. 8:10 pm - entry Captain Soli,  It has been nearly a month since last contact. It's cold here on this planet. The locals are new to hospitality but I think I can help them. I've come to enjoy my solitude in this void of isolation and lost dreams. My mind often wonders to Proxima and the memories I shared with you. I still love you. And I wait for you to come. I wish I could see you. I long for your warm embrace. I am getting worried I'll never be found. I never felt fear before and now it guides my path. Without you I feel as though I have become one of the lost ones. Memory is one of the first things to go they say. And yet I vividly hold on to you. However, the short term and long term have m...

Time made my soul its unwilling ghost.  At love's mercy I sat alone.  Waiting, praying, hoping he'll return home.  Darkness cast over its veil of pain. A channel of numbness calls me. In the void I learn to breathe again. I lost my heart the day you left. I felt your presence leave me. My love I'm lost, please find me. Hopelessness and spite seek to bind me. Alone in the shallows of disparity. How I long for peace and clarity. For nothing I lost you. I am empty and fading. Here I stay waiting patiently. In your memory I live on. All I knew is gone. Now I must be strong. Building up the walls you took down. Alongside my enemies I've become the clown. I realize now, I can never fall. I will rise above and rebuild with pride. Alone again, love's mercy bride. To the rules I am tied. Removing my veil, I will not hide. Foolish girl riding love's tide. Drowning in love flood and the memory. Unable to break free from the past. Swallowing the reality, I can't be with...